


an echo haunts.

by anclrewjosten (caslyc)



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:12:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caslyc/pseuds/anclrewjosten
Summary: An echo haunts. No matter how faded it has become, it will always be there, even when you can not hear it. Andrew Minyard's mind haunts him: Renee Walker hears it.





	an echo haunts.

If I said there was a glitch in your eyes, would you listen?

If I told you the boy I once knew was no longer present, would it make a difference?

I knew you once upon a time. You were quiet. You certainly was not calm - you didn't have an ounce of rationality within you. But now?

Now you're a whole new person, Andrew. You _smile_.

The pain is still there, I know this. You still push yourself to take the next step forward, because the hardest thing you've ever had to do was the bare minimum.

Every sound around you was echoed, haunting you: balls ricocheting against the plexiglass; thoughts crashing against the edge of your mind; eyes bouncing away from your hostile figure; presences waiting, mere centimetres from where you stand. Until one day, you leaned into the fall, and it never felt so good.

It was like no drug you had ever had before. It- _He_ made your heart race, he distracted you. You no longer noticed every minute movement of every figure in the room. You no longer counted exits in the room. You no longer saw your family as a threat, nor your enemies as a responsibility. He matched what every stimulant you had ever taken did, but above it all, he made you _feel_. You can't remember the last time that happened.

You tried exy, and found it to simply be a way to pass the time. You found friends whom you respected, but you could never trust us. You found family, but what were family when you - supposedly - did not care? You tried God, but I could never expect religion to be your comfort. Instead, you found an untrustworthy, wounded boy who unravelled every curtain you hid behind without a moment's hesitance. He climbed over every wall you ever built. He convinced you to take a look over the top, appreciate the beauty in the world. Of course, you would never get that far, but for once in your life, you saw us.

I could never thank Neil enough.

You let me see who you were: I appreciate that, but I trusted the other Foxes- I trusted your own friends, your own brother, when they said you did not care. You were not a man of feeling, but you were not apathetic. In retrospect, you were a man of too much feeling. All your thoughts pushed your emotions over when they came too close: a tsunami you could never stop. You never dreamt of keeping your dam intact. You let them coast away from you until you found you had nothing left.

Neil showed you how to feel. He gave you something new, something you liked. He gave you something that allowed you to fall asleep at night, allowed you to be trusting him when he listened to you. He wasn't going anywhere. The same words, the same promise you two owed each other, gave you something to lean on. You took comfort in Neil. You let him hold you back when he had to; he pushed you forward when we needed it the most. How he ever managed to achieve half the things we asked, I will never understand, because you, Andrew Minyard, are the strongest man I have ever met. I'm sure you understand what I mean when you consider just why the Foxes uphold the reputation we do, and I am undoubtful when I suppose you will instinctively believe what truth my words lack, but I hope you will slow, as Neil taught you (as I tried to teach you), and remember what truth my words have always held. I am not one to lie to anyone. Not to you, and in spite of how much I may have wanted to, not to Neil.

I never told you how little I trusted him when he arrived, but he was a Fox. Foxes were never trustworthy, but above it all, you trusted him. Somehow, after a lot of digging, a lot of trials, adding more insult to his injury, you found a way to trust him. That was all I needed to listen to him. Although I was right, believing he would not keep you safe or try to make you good, he did not hurt you. Am I right when I say that may have been all you needed?

Good is a warped concept for the Foxes. Upon recognition I appear to be nothing but good, but I am anything but, no matter how I tried. Foxes have no redemption - I know this, despite trying. You knew this. It is why you listened to me, was it not? Although you never really listened to anyone but Neil, did you? You heard me: you payed attention to me, concentrating through the echos that haunted you. You listened to only him, his words resonating on an entirely unfound frequency.

I do not rescind saying I saw a glitch behind your eyes. There were many, slowly unravelling your software until you were nothing but pure, mechanical code. I remember your lowest. I will not go on, because after the last three years, you are still Andrew Joseph Minyard and you will still threaten me with those forsaken knives you hide away. Just, remember where you came from, because you have grown so much. You have learnt - adults so rarely learn, and you grew up so young. Finally, you have found someone to hold. Someone who needed you as much as you needed him, and neither of you had a clue.

Keeping Neil Josten safe gave you the will to not just live, but to try. We always needed you on the court, in Fox Tower, and I count my blessings knowing you two are both okay today. So I will remind you, and I will continue to do so.

You are good.

You're a good man. You will never admit it. You hear those words and you show us your hardware, revealing what you believe to be true. You flash us a snarl, or a grin on a particularly bad day, but you will not forget. And nor will we, because all of us trust you now.

Even Matt, who you dragged through hell.

Even Dan, whose faith you so desperately tried to remove.

Even Allison, who faced your snark more often than not.

Even Nicky, who had to try with all his might to hold onto his unfathering optimism around you.

Even Kevin, who held blind faith in a man who held none.

Even Aaron, who would want nothing more to have been seen by you years ago.

Even Coach Wymack, who took it upon himself to father a boy with every dependency available to him, except his own family.

Even Neil. I will never know why, and I believe that will forever remain between the two of you, but I see the key he keeps close to him. I know he is not still returning to Fox Tower, so I can only guess what it means. I doubt I am wrong?

Even myself. I trust you, Andrew. I can only hope, one day, you will find it within yourself to trust us too.

I see you begin. I see something I never thought I would ever - I see you try, and I can only thank you.

I just wish I will one day truly see the boy you have become.

**Author's Note:**

> Right so this had me emotional. I began writing and I did not know whether this would remain original or not, but I found myself two lines in and I just continued, unconsciously, self projecting onto my boy Andrew. Leave kudos / comments if you wish! because it will undoubtedly make my day. I hope you all enjoy reading.


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